James Long ....Father of Maurice Long
I've been in the Army for 19 years have buried at young ages my father, mother and brother. As a father who lost his 12 year old son, there is nothing on this earth that will ever compare to my pain. I cry in the morning, on the way to work, at work, on the way home and when I get home. Yes, I use to be the strong one in our family, but the death of my son broke every ounce of strength I have. I'm beyond words. I get counseling from our Pastor and a health professional. None of it is easing my pain. 7 weeks off from work and I'm expected to return to work as if nothing ever happened. My pain and tears for my son are to great and I know I want stop crying until the day I die. I know my family and friends may mean well, but they will never, ever understand the pain that's in my heart constantly and I hear that it will ease, I can't get over losing my son.
My son was so worried about me going back to Iraq and not coming back home safe and he dies and I get to stay back from Iraq because my family needs me. I would rather go to Iraq and die 3 times if I could just have our son back with his mother, brother and sister. I can't bare to see the pain on their faces everyday, it's truly unbearable. This is the worst thing that could happen to any parent and it has indeed broke me down. I'm a man of faith and our family attend church every Sunday we pray together as a family. The only thing that's holding me up by the threads is our faith and there are many days I feel like taking my own life, but there is know where in the scripture that tells me I would end up in heaven. The worst has already happen to me. I'm a father who who now lives in a whole different world. I prided myself at leaving work early just to come home and play with my boy and now I can't play with anymore. And they tell me to be strong, I want be strong, I miss my son and it hurts not having him with his family, I deserve to hurt and cry, my son is dead.
RAY GREEN (NICK GREEN'S DAD)
