Lauryn Deo's Family....

December 2005 my family and I went to FLorida to for a vacation. I woke up at my moms house one night terribly sick and throwing up. Come to find out one week later i was 6 weeks pregnant. It was totally unexpected bing that my youngest daughter was only 9 months old. My husband and i set out to find a larger house for our ever growing family. In my 5th month we found out we were having a girl, so excited to add to our clan of girls. Just a couple of wees after my husband had a accident at work and had to be off work for 6 weeks. Money was tight to say the least. He returned to work and was only back about 2 weeks when he got layed off. It was devasting because we didn't know what to do. He was layed off the rest of my pregnancy and it was very stressful. I had far from what was a uncomplicated pregnancy although my doctors would disagree. The baby was very inactive and i kept telling my doctors something was wrong. I had several "premonitions" of losing my little girl and finally at my insitance i was given twice a week non-stress tests. There were several occassions in which her heartrate dropped down below 85 bpm and the doctors did an ultrasound and sent me home. I complained and beeged to be incuded knowing that my baby was in trouble. They ignored my pleas and on August 25 i woke up knowing that she was gone. I am filled with so much anger and pain some times i can't even cope. I feel I could have saved her becuase God was giving me som many warnings. I remember reading somewhere about a cord accident and it flashed through my head like a neon sign the whole nine months. I told everyone the day she would be born and i ened up being correct. I still try and make sense of all of these things. I received the autopsy results today and they showed NOTHING. She was perfectly healthy. Why was my youngest daughter taken from me, i will not know until the day i see her in heaven. I can't wait for that.