I have decided it was time to let you know what keeps me going in this game we all call life!!
I met Kevin McCord in 1995 in Vacaville California, then a troubled teenager, I was one of those girls that daddies despised....I loved the bad boys! Kevin and I began to talk and he soon had to return to Fouts Boys Camp to finish his time. We began exchanging letters and our love soon grew so strong that NO ONE could keep us apart! My dad tried to keep us from talking but nothing worked....I came to Illinios to live with my mom and soon after his dad sent him to live with me! We were meant to be. The love we shared could not be broken!
After I graduated high school, we moved out together and I was soon pregnant with our first baby. Kylah Monique~Aubree McCord was born June 16, 1998. Kevin was still not sure if growing up was something in his near future....but he did everything in his power to keep us above water! Kylah meant the world to us both. She ws just 6 months old when God decided it was time to bless our family with another healthy pregnancy. Kylah was joined by a bouncing baby brother September 29, 1999. Kieran Mykal~Andru McCord was also the apple of his daddy's eye! There was nothing those two did wrong according to Kevin.
As the kids grew older we began to talk about marriage. Kieran was 5 months old when Kevin bought my engagement ring. Although we lived together, we never actually said I Do. September 1, 2001 we read one another our vows in front of many of our family and friends. We had an outside ceremony here in Carlyle Illinios. Overlooking our favorite past time....Carlyle Lake. The sailboat association was having a big gathering, so the boats were a perfect backdrop to our perfect day. It was beautiful.
This year we were supposed to be celebrating our 4th Wedding Anniversary. But the Lord called his name. Kevin called me to tell me he loved me just 3 minutes before the 9-1-1 call was made. Kevin died instantly in a two car accident. I can't explain the feelings I had. He had just called me, minutes before I recieved another call to get to the hospital, it was bad. I sat there awaiting his arrival, so I could cuss him out for getting hurt, for not being able to take us out for dinner....anything, but to identify his body. I told myself the entire hour and a half, that I wasn't there to view his body, but to take him home, casts and all!! Well, I was wrong. Kevin was pronounced dead at the scene at 7:53pm. How could this be? The only man I had loved with all my heart, the father to my children? What are the kids going to say? How will I tell them? Will they hate me?
Well, in essence you can say that my children are what keeps me going. I have a huge family and without them, I would be no where. I am one to talk about my feelings, and I can talk about the accident until the sun goes down. But to talk about my children without their daddy, brings me to tears!
Kylah is now in 2nd grade and Kieran started kindergarten this year. They are very strong kids and I feel that they are doing so well, for my sake. I think Kevin is up there telling them to keep me safe and to keep me going! Without my children I think I would have shortly followed Kevin "home".
I also work fulltime. I returned to work 3 short weeks after the accident. I sometimes think it was too soon. But I wanted to keep our life as close to how it was as possible, for my kids' sake. I can't imagine going through this as a 6 or 7 yr old child. I can hardly believe that I am going through this as a 26 year old widow!!
It is for my babies that I wake up and decide to continue living each day!
Love,
Sonya McCord
